Raf's Travel Diaries

We fear change as much as we embrace it. Raf (Without a clue). Unfinished Paste-up Mural in my room in Russell

Here I was. Stuck in a grey and lifeless town on an early Sunday afternoon. The streets where deserted and most shops closed. I started feeling claustrophobic, I needed to get out of there! I grabbed my few belongings; which summed up to a backpack with clothes, my travel diary and a sleeping bag, and walked to the bus stop. The only person there was a bored old lady sitting behind the counter playing sudoku. I walked over and asked her for the next bus out of there. she looked at me sheepishly -next bus departs tomorrow at 9a.m. -What?! -Next bus. Tomorrow. 9 a.m. She replied slightly annoyed -Oh no, I moaned - I reeeeally need to get out of here today. Really. I insisted, although I could tell it was taking me nowhere. She just shrugged. I breathed deeply trying to push the claustrophobia back. There was only one option: I walked to the nearest gas station and asked for a large cardboard box. A middle aged asian guy shook his head in disapproval as he handed me the box, I ignored hi

Me animo. No me animo. Me animo. No me animo. Me animo? Enter. Your payment has been successful. You will shortly receive a confirmation e-mail. Thank you for choosing to fly with us. Raf (daydreaming).

My heart sank as I read the letter. I had made sure I had two paths, I wasn't sure which one I wanted to take. This letter marked the end of one of those paths, the one which promised quality of life above all other things. The new one that lays ahead is very exciting but terrifying at the same time. It's unstable and unpredictable. I try to push the disturbed thoughts from my head, I don't want to dream about this. I'll analyze it tomorrow, now it's late and I'm tired. Raf (choosing to deal with it tomorrow, yet knowing I wont be able to take it off my head).

Ukelele painting by Raf

There is something magic & addictive about waves. Raf

Things that could've seemed like a problem turn into a small adventures when you look at them with a bit of perspective & the right attitude. Raf (daring but with a touch of common sense)

It is the little things we achieve daily that that make us happy: like finding a parking spot in a full parking lot, catching the fast ferry just before it leaves, being let off work 5 minutes early, remembering a funny anecdote, reading something you feel identified with, finding someone playing football at the beach or a compliment from a complete stranger. Raf (To those who without knowing it, make my day. Thank you.)

I buy a new pair of shoes and I'm more excited about what I'm going to do with the box than the shoes themselves.

Nunca supe bien como sueñan los demas, pero a veces sueño alternando entre la 1ra y 3ra persona. --- Anoche soñe que pintaba un cuadro. Me vi, desesperadamente intentando expresar alegría y energía positiva a través de lo que pintaba. Sin embargo cuando me alejé para contemplar el resultado final me encontré con una imágen totalmente insulsa y sin vida. No transmitía nada. Volteé para mirar los cuadros de Van Gogh que tenía a mi lado, y lo admiré por las impecables combinaciones de colores, sus pinceladas perfectas, y sobre todo, lo admiré por lograr que sus cuadros transmitan tantas sensaciones. Raf (Sorprendida con mi fascinacion onírica por Van Gogh ).

Paste up in my room in Russell. Dealing with people, interacting, socializing. It can be so frustrating! Raf (trying too hard & deciding to take a break from people).

10.15 pm. Me bajo del ferry en Paihia. Me acerco a 2 chicas y un chico que comen fish & chips sentados en un banco y les pido direcciones para llegar a King's Road, donde alguien me comento que los martes hay fiesta latina. Mientras les pregunto, al chico le veo cara familiar. -Argentinos? pregunto. Resulta que son santarroseños: -Me es conocida tu cara, sos algo de Martin? -Soy Martin. Raf (Sera que conozco demasiada gente? Cuales son las probabilidades de que pase? ).

(Paste up mural. WIP) How can you be homesick when you're not even sure where home is? Everywhere is home? Nowhere is home? Home is where my roots lay? Home is where I feel comfortable? Raf (Geez, taking a look I've noticed my latest posts haven't been the most positive, lol, I am alright tho, just can't stop thinking).

Bonfire at Long Beach, Russell. I am there but I'm not. Everyone is so excited, I hear the conversations and shouts far away, as if they were not true. I want to join them, but I can't. I pretend to enjoy myself to avoid questions and attempts of cheering me up. I am not sad. I am absent. I am there, but I'm not. Raf

Browsing, looking for graffiti techniques to decorate my room I came upon this. My previous post speaks of exactly the same! We are so stupid we actually want to believe we can be different and belong at the same time, but especially, we want to believe we can be free. Him, you, me. We are mass-individuals. More or less nomads. More or less rebels. We are a creation of capitalism. It moulds our dreams, desires and expectations. It also fails us, but no matter what, it does not set us free. Raf (starting to believe that I make no sense whatsoever when I write)

Sunset at Russell's waterfront. Raf

Prove ourselves to the world, it's worth all the stress. Being workaholics, it's regarded as something to admire. Achieve social status, even if what you do doesn't make you happy, it gives you a feeling of power that masks all the other personal frustrations. Masks, not covers, doesn't make up for it either, but that's enough, others can't tell the difference. Only you can. Raf

Is it impossible just because we get bored? Because we need excitement? Or because we require change, constantly, no matter if it's for better or worse? Raf

Raid Enchufe. Raid aerosol. Off en crema. Protector solar con repelente. Velas con citronella. Ya tengo todas esas cosas, pero probablemente hubieran sido mas utiles antes de que me piquen. Raf

Contacts and good impressions, I am learning, are incredibly helpful tools. Raf